The Life of a Parent
by Saphira Eliante
Summary: What happened while the non-original members were growing up? Who was mommy? Who was Daddy? Lexy/Zexy and other pairings, drabble, OOCness, crack, and rated M for later on.
1. Intro

Okay, so this is my fantastic fanfic that I am writing with Lyx. SO. This is the very very into, and.... Is kinda crappy. DON'T WORRY. It gets better. I promise.

* * *

Zexion remember the day clearly.

Xemnas called everyone together. "The new members are arriving, and as Xigbar and Xaldin know, they are… different than us. They are children. There are and Luxord, the oldest, at… seven years old…" He sighed. "Then there are Axel, Marluxia, and Larxene, all six, and Demyx, four, as well as the most definite youngest, Roxas, who is three." Xemnas grinned. "We get to raise them, and I'll take on the father role. Don't you all jump up at the thought of being 'mommy.'" He laughed.

Zexion rolled his eyes. _Great, so we're going to be stuck with a bunch of brats until they mature into full nobodies? Lovely. At least I won't have to deal with them._

Or so he thought.

"They're here!" Xaldin called out from the entrance, and everyone immediately showed up to see the newbies. A moody-looking seven year old stepped in first. _Blue hair, gold eyes_, thought Zexion_, and a slight wolfish appearance. Alright, he seems mature… _Next in was a blonde boy grinning, holding a pack of cards. He spoke in a heavily British accent.

"Anywon wot to play a game o' pokah?" Xaldin merely ushered him along, and the boy mumbled something or other about bloody buggers.

_Great, won't be able to understand a word he says…_

Next up was a boy with bright red, spiked hair, followed by two girls. Er, two boys. Er, a boy and a girl? _Okay, that one's got pink hair… And the other's a blond… I don't know. They're both feminine _and _masculine. I think they might be he/shes! The both of them! _

Last to come in was a boy with a blondish brown mullet holding the hands of a tiny guy with big blue eyes and spiked blond hair.

_And they probably won't understand anything _I _say…_

"Okay, that's everyone." Xaldin put his hands on his hips and shook his head, mumbling.

Xemnas grinned, a 'father's pride' starting to take over. "Alright, children, I'm your daddy!" He held out his arms and grinned wider.

The kids took one look at him and ran over to Lexaeus, shouting cries of 'Daddy!!'.

But that was not the worst bit.

The worst bit is what they called Zexion.

"Mommy! Save us from creepy uncle!!"

The only one who didn't run over to the other two was Saïx, who shook hands with a defeated Xemnas.

* * *

Like I said. It gets better and longer.

Events to look forward to:

-Dinner

-Bedtime Stories

-What Were Mommy and Daddy Doing?

-More to come.


	2. Dinner

**~Dinner~**

**It had been a few weeks; he was accustomed to the little idiots now. Saïx mostly hung out with Xemnas, so he was no problem… Lord know what the child will be like when he's grown… Larxene and Marluxia were quite a pair. Turns out there was a girl, Larxene, and Marluxia was another boy. They got into slight trouble everywhere, but they weren't too bad. Luxord's only problem was his constant gambling. And the fact no one could understand his thick British accent. Hopefully it'll go away. Demyx and Roxas had to be watched out for- they were always getting into everything. At least, Demyx was. Roxas… Well, he just kind of wandered around, daydreaming. **

**The worst one of all was Axel. Troublemaker, bully, everything. One moment you'd be lecturing him, the next he'd be off bugging Roxas! Then when Roxas finally gets rid of him, he's off setting fire to your books! The worst thing about him, though, was his pickiness. It wasn't even that he didn't like the food; it was that he didn't want to eat it simply for the sake of annoying you!**

**A fine example of this was one night, about a week after they moved in. Zexion was still quite unused to being addressed as Mommy, but Lexaeus was used to it. All he had to do was say, 'Listen to Mommy,', and read the newspaper. Oh, and he got to do spankings whenever someone did something **_**really bad. **_

_**Zexion had cooked dinner, a delightful meal of chicken cordon bleu, fresh buttered peas, and duchess potatoes. All in all, a delectable meal. Apparently, not to Axel. Zexion sighed. "Axel, eat your vegetables."**_

"_**No! I dun wanna!" A slight crossing of the arms.**_

"_**Axel, seriously. Choke 'em down; it's not like they're bad for you. Look. Everyone else finished theirs, even Roxas. Even Daddy finished his. Now eat it."**_

"_**NO! I DUN WANNA EAT IT!" Axel started to screech, kicking and flailing his arms. **_

"_**AXEL! EAT THE DAMN PEAS!" Zexion was yelling too. "Lexaeus! Do something!"**_

_**Lexaeus looked up from his newspaper. "Axel, listen to Mommy." He turned to the next page.**_

_**Zexion sighed as Axel continued to throw a temper-tantrum. "NO! I'M NOT GUNNA EAT THEM! THEY'RE GROSS! NO!"**_

_**Zexion broke an empty beer bottle (was that Luxord? Note to self: lock up alcohol) and waved it at Axel. "EAT. THE. FUCKING. PEAS."**_

_**At that key moment… Xaldin walked in. He raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"**_

_**Zexion looked around suspiciously. "I.. was just, ah… Teaching Axel here about the dangers of playing with a broken bottle." He nodded a bit too fast.**_

_**Xaldin shrugged. "Whatever." He walked on out, grabbing a drink from the fridge. **_

_**Lexaeus looked up at Zexion. "Why lie to him? It's not like he's going to care one way or the other."**_

_**Zexion shrugged. "I don't know. I get the feeling that I shouldn't be a bad mother… Otherwise these kids might end up, you know, fucked up."**_


End file.
